Fidel Castro: Comrads, our nation is completely bankrupt! We have no choice but to abandon communism.
Castro's assistants: [collective sigh]
Castro: I know, I know, I know... but we all knew from day one this mumbo jumbo wouldn't fly! I'll call Washington and tell them they won.
Assistant 1: But Presidente, America tried to kill you!
Castro: Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco.
Assistant 2: [whispers in Castro's ear]
Castro: It's full of WHAT?!
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